In which Adam Bonny and his crew of three are stranded in the middle of the ocean with bad luck and bad music.

After a surprisingly cooperative hostage situation unravels, the crew travels the Mykonos to fence stolen goods, launder money, and talk shop with the gayest pirate to ever sail the seven seas...of gayness!!

Events cumulate in a grand olde dildo fight, a trip over the edge of a pleasure yacht, and a lovely liver-destroying party in which several uncomfortable secrets make themselves known.

PAGE ONE:"I can't believe we ran out of gas."

PAGE TWO: "Me? How is it my fault? "

PAGE THREE: "David Bowie has never been for my responsibility."

PAGE FOUR: "Better than wearing arse-tight nancy jeans like you!"

PAGE FIVE: "WHAT THE HELL?!"

PAGE SIX: "Your blubber should keep you nice and warm."

PAGE SEVEN: "With the luck of us, it will be damn Harbor Corps!"

PAGE EIGHT: "Tourists...how cute."

PAGE NINE: "Let me handle this."

PAGE TEN: "Any of you folks sprechen zer Iye-talian?"

PAGE ELEVEN: "Hilton Head. Where the boating is better."

PAGE TWELVE: "Well, shit, who'da thought it, meetin' neighbors out in the middle of the goddamn ocean!"

PAGE THIRTEEN: "Thanks, neighbor. We're actually running late for an important rendezvous, so I sure do appreciate it!."

PAGE FOURTEEN: "Hmmph. Easier than shooting Shamu in its undersized tank."

PAGE FIFTEEN: "The Principal Snyder, who when he is always plotting sneaky-like against Boofy!"

PAGE SIXTEEN: "This is gay. Are you people gonna pay us for this?"

PAGE SEVENTEEN: "Hey, you know, these water pistols are great!"

PAGE EIGHTEEN: "They are real assault rifles."

PAGE NINETEEN: "Now howsabout you haul your fat ass back to Hilton Head with your trophy wife and your stretch-marked, lard-gobbling spawn before I blast you back to the land of popped collars and pecan pie?"

PAGE TWENTY: "Everybody get ready!"

PAGE TWENTY-ONE: "Get going, Helen Keller!"

PAGE TWENTY-TWO: "You do make too many fat jokes."

PAGE TWENTY-THREE: "I'm so fucking bored."

PAGE TWENTY-FOUR: "My arse hurts from all this sitting."

PAGE TWENTY-FIVE: "You can put your hands on your head and line up against the wall, or you can get down on your knees and suck my cock."

PAGE TWENTY-SIX: "This I am not understanding..."

PAGE TWENTY-SEVEN: "If you're not too busy raping women with champagne bottles, then watch my back!"

PAGE TWENTY-EIGHT: "Jesus, the wait-staff is packing!"

PAGE TWENTY-NINE: "Oh, go shove a crumpet up your ass."

EXTRA ONE : "What they did on the boat for three hours."

PAGE THIRTY: "Not all Englishmen drink tea while smoking pipes and listening to chamber music."

PAGE THIRTY-ONE: "Awkward!"

PAGE THIRTY-TWO: "Uh, someone who definitely agrees with your political beliefs and taste in music!"

PAGE THIRTY-THREE: "Danger Zone! Danger Zone!"

PAGE THIRTY-FOUR: "Wait, what? A planter!?"

PAGE THIRTY-FIVE: "Did you hear me rocking the Italian up there?"

PAGE THIRTY-SIX: "I'm feeling We Are the Champions, like, woah!"

PAGE THIRTY-SEVEN:"We're, like, serious motherfucking criminals!"

PAGE THIRTY-EIGHT: "Oh shit. OH SHIT."

PAGE THIRTY-NINE: " ...You jinxing twat-head!"

PAGE FORTY: "H-He bit me!"

PAGE FORTY-ONE: "Wait...what?"

PAGE FORTY-TWO: "Russ, this is getting a little FUBAR."

PAGE FORTY-THREE: "Go on making jokes at my expensive!"

PAGE FORTY-FOUR: "One day, I will explain to him what a double negative is."

PAGE FORTY-FIVE: "I will, but not because you tell me so."

PAGE FORTY-SIX: "Do those guys know about your vagina?"

PAGE FORTY-SEVEN: "Awkward!"(Number II)

PAGE FORTY-EIGHT: "That is not a question I'm at liberty to answer."

PAGE FORTY-NINE: "Not to be misogynistic, but I just can't handle you bitches."

PAGE FIFTY: 25,000 / 50 Pages

PAGE FIFTY-ONE: "My neck is not that thick."

PAGE FIFTY-TWO: "I do not 'like it in the butt!'"

PAGE FIFTY-THREE: "Think things through next time, okay?"

PAGE FIFTY-FOUR: "I'd rather stay here and get pissed."

PAGE FIFTY-FIVE: "This has nothing to do with mother nature."

PAGE FIFTY-SIX: "I'm just an evil turtle-man!"

PAGE FIFTY-SEVEN: "Last year, everything started going downhill for me."

PAGE FIFTY-EIGHT: "Now I'm in Greece getting drunk with a gay pirate!"

PAGE FIFTY-NINE: "Bondage and Bestiality?"

PAGE SIXTY : "Wow, you're either good at sarcasm or good at cutting off dicks!"

PAGE SIXTY-ONE : "Jack took my biscuits, and he wouldn't give them back, so I slapped him in the face with my dildo."

PAGE SIXTY-TWO : "Squirty Pete is a girl's best friend!"

PAGE SIXTY-THREE : "If you can make it there, just grab something penis-shaped and start swinging!"

PAGE SIXTY-FOUR : "Burn in hell, fascist Alpha scum!."

PAGE SIXTY-FIVE : "Where in hell, the Jack and Katia?"

PAGE SIXTY-SIX : "Are you aware of the duality of that statement?"

PAGE SIXTY-SEVEN : "For future reference, this is the saloon."

PAGE SIXTY-EIGHT : "Thank you Mario, but I'm afraid your princess is in another castle!"

PAGE SIXTY-NINE : "Are you with me?"

PAGE SEVENTY : "Swing down from the hatch and drop-kick him!"

PAGE SEVENTY-ONE : "It's worth it to watch that hideous brat crumple."

PAGE SEVENTY-TWO : "Can the crap, Rackham."

PAGE SEVENTY-THREE : "Jinkies!"

PAGE SEVENTY-FOUR : "Relax, Green Gables. "

PAGE SEVENTY-FIVE : "Can we PLEASE drink now?"